Those who actually reads my blog im sori for the veri long disappearence. Im back in KL, completed my industrial training and life is getting worse than i can ever imagine... CNY is coming but I feel like this year its not a big deal. Y celebrate CNY when it will onli bring sadness? Most importantly mind my language plz.. ^^ i am jus releasing wads on my mind these few days and i have no whr to do dat but here. Whether or not it is right to say this out like this or not i do not care anymore as i have my rights and i wana release my anger out so badly. if not everyone else around me will probably get it and it'll be unfair to them like how i kinda let out abit of anger to my gf today and i feel sori about it... Its jus no point for me to let out anger on others for sumone hu is so inconsiderate about how i am really doing while in kl now.
All this time i've been trying to be the best i can this year in degree first year... Is it dat hard for me to just go through new year smoothly with no stress? Plz giv me any advise if u have any. im sick and tired of trying to figure things out myself... It seems like wadever I do things turn out to be a disaster. The feeling is like being at the edge of a cliff whr a small breeze can resolve to falling down that damn cliff.
I have an idiot uncle hu is not happy wif me and my brother goin back to my bloody ass hometown to see my family. Y the fuck would i wana make my life miserable to listen to his WANTS or DONT WANTS??? cox sadly he's handling my sch fees. My dad and i cannot tok about fees cox we will end up in a fight... But my dad calms down whenever we get and i knoe he wun backstab his son... My uncle? He is not my father so he will backstab me... How i wish he can jus keep his thoughts to himself. Sad family? i knoe.... sch fees sch fees... fuck the sch fees.... they wana say go ahead... everything concerning sch i will claim it all n let u say all u wan... its not like im taking the money to gamble in a casino rite? i may hav failed back then but im doin fine in KL... they say that they keep saying stuff cox i fail in kuching Swinburne. So completing my diploma in kl for the past 2 years is nth? or u cnt accept the fact that ppl change? how fuckup can this world be? i am a veri simple person... i love to play like everyone else.. i wan to enjoy life and i wan to earn big bucks. if u really think i purposely make my uncle torture me this way plz think again... i hate studying but its for my best and for me to be able to fufill my dream... thr is no way in hell i would wan to continue suffering all this shit... ofcourse i wud luv to say 'fine i stop study and go work' but it doesnt work dat way so i kinda dun hav a choice but to listen to them sing song day after day...
Up till now i still do not knoe whr i am going to stay after my contract to my current house ends. I have not found a convinient house wif a resonable price to stay in. Day after day i keep having stress on whr im goin to stay. But NOOO... Everyone else would rather me stressing about other things... If only I get enough money and a car here (although it mayb too much to ask for) then finding a place to stay wunt be a problem to me. People always say u must have a proper environment to study.. when they say dat it makes me wonder... Do they mean "get use to the place dat u have to study in" or do they really mean wad they say? i think its jus empty words...
Assignments are coming my way and i have all these to stress about... "wory about ur study and leave the rest to us... just make sure u pass" says my uncle.... Listen to this... u are in NO FUCKING POSITION TO TELL ME SO. i worry my assignments then who will worry about my accomodations or my well being? u????? even if i get a fucking distinction u will think i print out the results myself... how fuckup can some ppl be? there is no way in hell my family will worry whether i stay as it will all come down to "dat hard? dun study.. go back kch" if u wana motivate me to pass do it the write way or dun bother moving that big lips of yours... If u wan me to live ur life plz keep it to urself... dun decide for me... my grandfather agreed to payed my sch fees and i intend to make the best of it... i wan to succeed like others... dun make me giv up my dream becox u are not happy paying my sch fees or should i say handling my sch fees?
If you actually survive reading this far then continue surviving... Today my mum spoke to my grandmother... I really pity and feel at guilt that she has to be in this situation... mum told grandma that we might not be able to go back to kuching for CNY due to certain reasons... truthfully speaking its cox my uncle called my bro scolding him for goin back to kuching b4 this and still goin back for CNY. (honestly i onli found out that this even happened.. i thought it was onli me.. until today!!!) i am so fucking pissed!! sumore he scolded him about sch fees things... for fucks ah... yes u payy... paying doesnt giv u the right to scold ppl like dat for no reasons... WAD THE FUCK MY BRO DO TO DESERVE THIS FROM U? knoe how much pitiful he is? he called me asking me for RM200 to pay for sch stuffs i didnt knoe y until today i found out he was scolded till like that... so he's scared for asking that RM200 from my mum (dun wana trouble her cox she has her own probs) and uncle cox this has happened. my uncle once told us "if u need anything like books i will happily buy it for u" again WORDSS???? ACTIONS??? i wonder how that connects??? more like jus a figure of speech!!!! if u keep ur words, my bro wun come to me to ask for the Rm200 at all. Back to wad i sed earlier my grandmother was shock to hear this and told my mum to book a flight immediately... she was so worried that we wun go back for CNY. Sad part is she does knoe that everyone else had this so called "meeting" saying that its an outrage for coming back for CNY when we jus went back not long ago... plz dun tell others u're a chinese if u're having that mind set... i even had to tell my dad that after CNY i wun come back till the end of my course... I respect all the elders in my family but it has its limits... Dun add oil to fire and expect the fire to be put out... it is not wrong to fight for my rights. for the raising of voices to my uncle well i can onli say this... since i was the wood fighting wif fire, nth wud hav work... wad to do when meet ppl like this? fight fire wif fire... if its my fault i will gladly shut up but im not at fault so i wun it go so easily....
Anyways up to now i think thats about wads going on for the pass few weeks ive been back in kl... i seriously do not wan to go into all this but wad my mum told me today i realise i cnt keep quiet about this.... Its jus too much to handle...
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